Chad & Ballsy in the Morning

 

Earlier this week, a woman from Tennessee got home from a vacation and found someone had broken into her house.  But the burglar ignored things like her laptop and expensive jewelry . . . and stole things like tampons, a shower mat, and all her underwear.  She suspected her female neighbor . . . who was already wearing her clothes.  The neighbor was arrested. 

 

 

The website www.onlythebreast.com is for moms who can’t produce enough of their own breast milk and need to buy from others.  But it turns out, its not just women who are shopping around. Carey Louden of Spokane, Washington  posted an add on the website after having her daughter Viola.  With an abundance of milk, she took to the internet in hopes of providing to other families in need.Before Louden sold any milk, she had a change of heart.  On the site she saw a section of posts from men looking to buy breast milk for themselves.  One man even offered $250 for a supply. This brings up 2 questions for me…1) Why would a man want breast milk?  Only if his woman died and he needed to feed a child and that child couldn’t have formula..2) What parent would buy breast milk on-line? Hell no not this parent….

New audio has surfaced of a gay-bashing North Carolina pastor suggesting homosexuals should die.  Crazy, right?  Here are the Top Signs Your Pastor is Nuts.

 

He just sold the naming rights to your church and now you attend Muscle Milk Presbyterian.

–He actually thinks YOU are going to Heaven.

–All he wants in life is a bigger hat than the Pope.

When you ask what his favorite book of the bible is, he says, “Genesis . . . BEFORE Phil Collins.”

He keeps asking if anyone knows where he can get a clerical robe that won’t clash with his ass-less chaps.

–When you go into the confessional, he says, “Wait, me first.”

This is hilarious!

“Smithsonian Magazine” dug up a 1924 issue of a magazine called “Science and Invention”, and found a four-item LOVE TEST.  It was supposed to scientifically predict whether a marriage would succeed or fail.

 

 

–Could YOU pass?  Here are the four parts of the test . . .

 

 

#1.)  Are you deeply physically attracted?  The author says that physical attraction is THE most important element for a marriage.  So he’d test whether a couple got shortness of breath or a fast heartbeat when they looked at each other.

 

 

#2.)  How sympathetic are you?  In this test, each person would watch the other one go through something mildly traumatic, like giving blood.  And they’d be tested on whether they had strong physical reactions to seeing the other person in pain.

 

 

#3.)  Can you deal with each other’s body odor?  This is great . . . the author says he believes more marriages are destroyed by BAD BODY ODOR than any other reason.

 

 

–In this test, each person was put in a tight, enclosed capsule, and a hose would pump the scent from the other person’s capsule RIGHT into their noses.  If they could handle that, they were a good couple.

 

 

#4.)  Do you balance each other out in stressful situations?  For this test, the author would surprise the couple by firing a gun into the air.  He wanted to make sure one person had a more nervous reaction than the other, to show balance.

 

 

–And that’s it.  If you have a deep physical attraction, you feel each other’s pain, you don’t mind each other’s smell, and you do a good job balancing each other out under stress, you’ve passed a 1920s marriage test.

 

 

(Smithsonian)

 

 

(–Here are some illustrations of the tests from the article.)

 

 

• 
• 
• 
• 

 

 And finally here is the answer to the question posed in the blog title….