Archive for May, 2011

The End of Time is Saturday?

Tuesday, May 17th, 2011

 There’s been some publicity lately for a fringe
Christian sect that claims the world will end on May 21st.
 The head of that sect is now trying to make it clear he
didn’t pick Saturday arbitrarily . . . it’s based on his
real calculations.  Basically, he believes that Saturday is
the 7,000th anniversary of Noah and the Great Flood . . .
and that we’re due for the apocalypse that day.  Or
something.  

So . . . wanna know when you’re going to DIE?
 There’s a new blood test going on sale in England that
analyzes the structure of your chromosomes, calculates how
fast you’re aging, and then predicts your date of death.
 It’s pretty controversial, obviously . . . and there’s no
word when it could come over to North America.  The test will
cost about $700 over-the-counter.  And how about this:

Happy Tuesday:  One of the Smartest Men Who Ever Lived Says
There's No Heaven. 

If your faith can be easily shaken, you probably won't want
to hear this:  STEPHEN HAWKING is one of the most brilliant
human beings who ever lived . . . and lately, he's been
voicing his opinion that death really is the end.

--In his most recent interview, he says there's no Heaven.
 And he kind of mocks people who believe in it.

--He says, quote, "I have lived with the prospect of an
early death for the last 49 years.  I'm not afraid of
death, but I'm in no hurry to die.  I have so much I want
to do first.

--"I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working
when its components fail.  There is no heaven or afterlife
for broken down computers;  that is a fairy story for
people afraid of the dark."

(--It should be noted that if there IS a God, and he's
everything he's supposed to be . . . then his mysteries are
beyond the comprehension of all men . . . even one as
brilliant as Stephen Hawking.)

(--So just because he says there's no God, doesn't mean
there isn't.)

(--Or, to quote the nearly omnipotent character Dr.
Manhattan from "Watchmen" . . . "The world's smartest man
poses no greater threat to me than does its smartest
termite.") Hawking better hope there is no afterlife!

--Fox cancelled "America's Most Wanted".  And just like
that, another on-camera opportunity closes for Lindsay
Lohan... And speaking of Fox..In the midst of announcing their fall schedule, the network also revealed one of the shows they're developing for the future.  It's a "revival" of "The Flintstones", which is being created by SETH MACFARLANE.

--It'll be animated like the original '60s, Hanna-Barbera
version.  MacFarlane says he's keeping it true to the
original, but he'll make some updates.  He says, quote,
"What's the animal version of the iPod?  That's the kind of
thing we have to think about." The Flintstones will start production in the fall and will premiere sometime in 2013.

--Brad Pitt's latest film was booed by crowds at the Cannes
Film Festival.  A furious Angelina Jolie immediately
adopted them all and put them in timeout.

--Rick Springfield threatened the police officer who
arrested him for DUI in Malibu.  Had he been successful, it
would've been Springfield's first "hit" since 1982.
 
--Kelly Clarkson says the Miranda Lambert / Blake Shelton
wedding was quote, "awesome!"  In other words, there was
plenty of cake.

--Pierce Brosnan turned 58 yesterday.  He had a birthday
party that was better than Timothy Dalton's, but much worse
than Sean Connery's.

--A Michigan man was arrested after he was found hanging
off a building dressed as Batman.  He was charged with one
count of excessive virginity...

--The woman who admitted on national television that she
injected Botox into her 8-year-old daughter has now lost
custody of the little girl . . . That kid's going to have trouble being placed in foster care.  I mean, who wants a wrinkly 8-year-old? We need people to get have a parent licence these days....Unreal!!

Time now for Jokes Dyslexic:

CAREFUL)The Answer:    Oreos and Jenna Jameson.
The Question:  Name two things that have been
triple-stuffed.

CAREFUL)The Answer:    Chaz Bono and Brad Pitt.
The Question:  Name two guys who don't have balls.

CAREFUL)The Answer:    SEAL Team Two.
The Question:  What does Heidi Klum call her husband's
nads?

And this sounds like a possible poll question...

How do these people have the energy?  In a new
survey, 3% of North American adults say they have sex every
single day . . . and another 1% say they have relations
MULTIPLE TIMES every single day.  On the other end of
things, 3% say they only have sex once or twice a year, and
18% aren't currently sexually active.  The most common
frequency is once or twice a week, at 26%. Haha..all I'm willing to say is I'm below average...Have a great day...Ballsy...P-S read the damn blog and comment so I know you're out there....

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Does anybody care? Or am I wasting my time!

Friday, May 13th, 2011

Hey Wolf Pack, I’d like to know one thing….Are blogs a thing of the past? I’m starting to feel like its a  waste  of  time doing these entries or maybe they aren’t good enough for you to comment on…I just get the feeling that when it comes to social media this “blogging” has gone the way of Atari or Intellivision ( you know those hi-tech 80′s video games). Let me know….For now here’s another posting:

We talked about this yesterday on the show. A court case is brewing where a 20 million dollar lawsuit is being filed against an unnamed “A” list celeb for spreading herpes! Well here is a list of Stars who were in Las Vegas on April 1st  when the herpes was allegedly spread:  

RadarOnline put together a list of celebrities who
were there at the time.

--There were quite a few of them . . . but CHARLIE SHEEN
isn't on the list.  


--Some of the names that are on the list include Steven
Tyler, Chace Crawford, Larry David, Chris Tucker, Spike
Lee, Alfonso Ribiero, Jamie Foxx and Maury Povich.
 (--There's your man!)

--Then there was Ryan Reynolds, Russell Brand, Vin Diesel, Tyler Perry, Jack Black, Tim Allen and John Travolta.

--Thanks to the Academy of Country Music Awards, Keith
Urban, Alan Jackson, Brad Paisley and Toby Keith were
there, too.

--There were also some high-profile athletes in Vegas that weekend, including Michael Jordan, New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees, hockey legends Wayne Gretzky and Mario Lemieux, and baseball studs Ken Griffey Jr., Greg Maddux, Mike Piazza and John Smoltz.

(--Remember, the person named in the lawsuit was described
as having, quote, "appeared widely on television and film"
. . . and is worth at least $100 million.  If that helps
you narrow down the list any.)

Speaking of Charlie Sheen it looks like CBS has found his replacement on 2 and Half men.

The “Hollywood Reporter” says that ASHTON KUTCHER is
putting the finishing touches on a deal to replace CHARLIE
SHEEN on “Two and a Half Men”.

–There’s no word how much he’ll make, but a source says
it’s a, quote, “huge payday.”

–How will Charlie’s exit and Ashton’s entrance be
explained?  The source says, quote, “It’s really funny.
 People are going to love it.”  

–The source adds that CHUCK LORRE is, quote, “really
happy.”

–If this really does come to pass, it’ll be Ashton’s
second sitcom gig.  His big break was “That ’70s Show” . .
. which ran from 1998 to 2006.

–Ashton didn’t comment directly on this chaos, but he
seemed to confirm the news last night when he Tweeted,
quote, “What’s the square root of 6.25?”

(–It’s 2.5 . . . as in TWO AND A HALF.)

I know alot of our listeners love the UFC so here ya go..

BROCK LESNAR has been sidelined from MMA action once again
by intestinal issues.

–Brock has come down with his second bout of
diverticulitis . . . and this time he might have surgery to
correct it.

–That means he will NOT be fighting JUNIOR DOS SANTOS at
UFC 131 on June 11th.  At this point, there’s no timetable
for his return.

–Brock issued a statement saying, quote, “I’m not retiring
. . . I believe there’s a solution to every problem, I just
gotta find the right solution . . . I love this sport.”

–Dos Santos will now fight SHANE CARWIN at UFC 131.

–Ironically, it was Carwin that Lesnar was supposed to
fight when he came down with diverticulitis back in 2009.
 (–When he returned to action, Lesnar defeated Carwin.)

–This is the second tragedy to befall a UFC card in about a week.  FRANKIE EDGAR and GRAY MAYNARD both had to pull out of their lightweight title fight at UFC 130 on May 28th due to injuries.

This just in:  Former SKID ROW singer and "Celebrity Fit
Club" star SEBASTIAN BACH enjoys the reefer.  And we know
this because he was just popped for marijuana possession .
. . for the second time in six months.

--This time, Sebastian was pulled over for "failing to keep
right" while driving down a New Jersey highway.  The cop
discovered the weed and drug paraphernalia.  It was less
than 50 grams.  He was taken to jail early Tuesday morning,
but has since been released.  (--No word on his court date
yet.)

--Sebastian was also arrested last November after
instigating a bar brawl in Canada.  He was charged with
assault, possession of marijuana and mischief.

In other music news....( don't know what is going on with my font size but you probably aren't reading this anyway so it doesn't matter...)

Last year, we heard that DAVID GILMOUR and ROGER WATERS of
PINK FLOYD would be reuniting onstage at some point, but we
didn't know when it would go down.  

--Well, it happened last night in London.  Roger is doing a
tour to celebrate the 30th anniversary of "The Wall" . . .
and David and drummer NICK MASON joined Roger onstage . . .
for just the second time in the 30 YEARS.  

--They did "Comfortably Numb" and "Outside the Wall".

--At least for now, there's no indication that there will
be any future reunions.

(--Roger, David and Nick last performed together at "Live
8" in 2005.  Original keyboardist RICHARD WRIGHT died in
2008.)

And from AskMen.com...Today's Friday the 13th.  And if you're superstitious, you
might be worried about bad luck when it comes to getting
your junk touched this weekend.  To help you out, we've got
a list of six signs that'll tell you if you're actually
going to get LUCKY tonight . . .

#1.)  She Buys You a Drink.  If she's buying you a drink,
she's probably interested in you . . . or at least curious
to find out more.

#2.)  She Touches You.  If she touches you on the arm or
leg while you're talking, there's a good chance it will
evolve to more intimate touching later on.

#3.)  She Lets You Touch Her.  If she's touching you, you
can usually take it as an invite to return the favor.  And
if she's cool with YOU touching HER, it means she's
attracted to you and comfortable with you.

#4.)  She Compliments You.  Women don't throw out
compliments to random dudes they're not interested in.  So
if she tells you she loves the way you smell, or anything
along those lines, you're doing something right.

#5.)  She Shares Private Details.  Women don't open up to
just anyone.  So if she's comfortable sharing personal
details with you, she might be comfortable sharing her
loins with you too.

#6.)  She Starts Talking Dirty.  This one's obvious:  If
she starts talking sexy or dirty with you, it's pretty much
a lock that you're going to get lucky.  

Good luck this weekend folks..Have fun and be safe....I'm going to enjoy coaching some NFL Flag Football action this weekend...

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Wolf Boy returns tomorrow!

Thursday, May 12th, 2011

Hey,  we’ve had lots of texts asking when Wolf boy returns…fear not my friends he is back tomorrow with a JackAss kinda of stunt…haha….

  What A-List Celebrity Is Giving People Herpes?  

A lawsuit was filed this week, accusing a, quote, “A-list
celebrity” of giving someone HERPES.

–The problem is, the celebrity isn’t named in the lawsuit.
 Neither is the defendant, who claims to have met the
plaintiff in Las Vegas, and went to his penthouse for,
quote, “an evening of prolonged sex and illicit drug use.”

(–Careful!)  –The festivities included watching porno,
plus, quote, “mutual oral copulation, mutual
self-gratification, rubbing and massaging each other,
play-wrestling, licking and (unprotected) intercourse.”

–Oh, and it was VIDEOTAPED.

–The plaintiff . . . who is never identified as male or
female in the lawsuit . . . says that before ANY sexual
activity took place, the celebrity clearly stated that he
did NOT have any STDs.

–The plaintiff is suing for at least $20 million.

–There are very few clues in the lawsuit as to the
identity of the plaintiff.  Although it does say he has
“appeared widely on television and film”, and his net worth
is at least $100 million.

(–All that, plus he parties in Vegas, watches porno and
videotapes his sexual exploits?  Yeah, I know . . . we’re
all thinkin’ CHARLIE SHEEN.  But that’s not a given. ) Time now for STUPID NEWS:

Here's another reason OSAMA BIN LADEN sucks.  According to
the man who served as his matchmaker for his fifth wife,
bin Laden likes YOUNGER GIRLS.  He demanded that his wife
be, quote, "preferably aged 16 to 18."  The man matched him
up with a 17-year-old from Yemen in 1999 . . . bin Laden
paid her family a $5,000 bride price . . . and she was
taken into custody during the raid last week. MOre of Bin Laden later.

 If Double Stuff Oreos aren't big enough for you, it's a
great day.  Nabisco has announced that they're about to
roll out new TRIPLE Oreos, called Triple Doubles.  They
feature a cookie, white filling, another cookie, chocolate
filling, and a final cookie.  Like an Oreo club sandwich.
 They're set to come out this summer

There's an iPhone app blowing up today.  It's called
iAugment and it's a free app that lets you see what you'd
look like with a BREAST ENHANCEMENT.  You just take a photo
in a bra or swimsuit and it lets you blow up your breasts
from a little bit to ENORMOUS.  And the photos come out
looking surprisingly realistic

People love their smartphones loudly and publicly.  They
love their VIBRATING LOVE TOYS a little more privately.
 But that doesn't mean the love is any less powerful.  A
new study is projecting that, over the next decade, people
will buy just as many love toys as they do smartphones . .
. about 400 million of each by the year 2021

This is one of the many underrated dangers of getting old.
 And it's SCARY.  In England, an elderly man was showering,
and using a plastic showering chair.  The chair had slats
in the seat for draining . . . but during the shower, the
guy's OLD MAN TESTES slipped through one of the slats and
got STUCK.  The fire department had to come and cut the
chair to free him and his testes.  

Bad day for Batman yesterday.  Around 1:00 A.M., police in
Michigan had to rescue a 31-year-old man dressed as BATMAN
who was hanging off the ledge of a public building.  The
man in the costume describes himself as a, quote, "geek . .
. into comics and action figures."  

Take this poor people!

WILL SMITH'S trailer on the set of "Men In Black 3" is
nicer than most people's HOMES.

--It's a $2 million, 1,150-square-foot rig with marble
floors, a lounge and bar . . . a movie room with a 100-inch
screen . . . an all-granite bathroom . . . a large bedroom
. . . and offices for Will's assistants and writing staff.

--It's 53 feet long, has 22 wheels and weighs about 30
tons.  He's renting it for $9,000 a week.  (--Check out
some pictures of this beast here.)  (Sources:  People, New
York Post)

--Oh, and Will is also renting a 55-foot trailer with a
full gym inside.

--There was just one problem with the trailer:  The movie
is filming in Manhattan right now . . . and the locals
hated it.

--One resident said, quote, "The smell that comes along
with it is disgusting.  It's like living in a gas station."

--Another one said, quote "How would Will Smith feel if I
parked that thing out in front of his house?  People forget
this is a residential neighborhood, not a film lot."

--Last night, the producers said the trailer had been moved
to private property.

Here is some water cooler talk for you...

1839 - A Shawnee Indian chief cursed the GREAT WHITE FATHER
for violating Indian treaties.  That supposedly started the
strange cycle of deaths at the White House:  Every
President elected or re-elected at 20-year cycles died in
office from 1840 through 1960.  

     --1840 - William Henry Harrison - died of pneumonia 30
days after inauguration.

     --1860 - Abraham Lincoln - assassinated.

     --1880 - James Garfield - assassinated.

     --1900 - William McKinley - assassinated.

     --1920 - Warren G. Harding - died of mysterious
natural causes.

     --1940 - Franklin D. Roosevelt - died of a brain
hemorrhage in his fourth term.

     --1960 - John F. Kennedy - assassinated.

     --Ronald Reagan, who was first elected in 1980,
escaped death after an assassination attempt.  Some say
that his wife Nancy broke the cycle by consulting with
astrologers.

ON This Day in 1960 - FRANK SINATRA and ELVIS PRESLEY appeared on a TV special together.  Sinatra performed "Love Me Tender" and Elvis sang "Witchcraft".  And seeing those two guys inspired many women to "perform" on their men later than evening.

And finally we wrap up this blog entry with Bin Laden humour..The U-S Navy Seals apparently found Osama's journal...Here are some interesting facts from his diary...

THE TOP TEN OSAMA JOURNAL ENTRIES

#1.) Work on next terror plot Americans will never forget:
Pit NFL players against owners in hopeless deadlock that
results in cancellation of 2011 football season. Also,
break up Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver.

#2.) Kill courier who brought me herbal Viagra. I clearly
asked for Horny Goat Weed.

#3.) Call DirecTV and demand the Oprah Winfrey Network.

#4.) Call 1-800-FLOWERS to thank Pakistan for the
hospitality.

#5.) I have grown tired of this set of wives . . . must
update profile on Match.com.

#6.) Even if he is an infidel . . . I agree that Charlie
Sheen is winning.

#7.) Must figure out way to sneak into Abbottabad Civic
Center for touring show of "Jersey Boys." What a musical!

#8.) Change Facebook status to read: "You're getting warmer
. . . warmer . . . no, no you're cold. Freezing cold. There
you go, warmer . . . warmer . . . you're hot! Wait . .
nope, cold again."

#9.) Consider new recruitment incentives . . . 73 virgins?

#10.) Remind courier not to talk on cell phone. Ah,
nevermind . . .

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Does his gate swing both ways?

Wednesday, May 11th, 2011

Would you still like Metallica if a member of their group came out of the closet? I don’t think it would change my thought process but I wonder if it would bother some hardcore fans….here’s why I bring it up:

There’s been a lot of talk about METALLICA guitarist KIRK
HAMMETT’S sexual orientation over the years . . . and now,
rock biographer Mick Wall is insinuating . . . without
really saying it outright . . . that Kirk is BISEXUAL.

–In a radio interview . . . (–with Mattman from “The Rise
Guys Show” out of South Carolina) . . . Wall said, quote,
“I couldn’t tell you definitively what the total
culmination of Kirk’s sexual experiences are, because he’s
an experimental kind of guy.

–”I would say, predominantly, he likes the ladies.  

–”If you talk to psychologists, they’ll tell you that
sexuality is a spectrum, it’s not just you’re either this
or you’re that, you’re somewhere on that radar . . . and
where Kirk is, you could say he’s more comfortable with his
sexuality than a lot of guys.”

(–Sure, this is not coming from someone within the
Metallica circle, per se . . . but Wall isn’t just some
random rock journalist.  He wrote the new Metallica
biography “Enter Night”, which came out yesterday.)

(–He’s also written tons of other rock books, including
authorized biographies of OZZY OSBOURNE and IRON MAIDEN.)

(–For what it’s worth, Kirk has been married twice . . .
to WOMEN.  He’s been with his current wife Lani for 13
years.  They have two young sons.)

In other entertainment news...BETTY WHITE is the most appealing celebrity, and SPENCER PRATT is the least.  That's according to the latest rundown
by E-Poll Market Research.

COURTNEY LOVE might be dating MICHAEL PITT . . . who played
a fictionalized version of KURT COBAIN in the movie "Last
Days".

TOP REASONS ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER AND MARIA SHRIVER ARE
SEPARATING

--Irreconcilable differences:  He was the governor of
California for the past eight years . . . and she was a
resident of California for the past eight years.

--Religious reasons.  She's a strict Catholic and he's a
cheating bastard.

--Um, hello???  He's a robot from the future bent on
killing the human race!

--He realized this is the perfect time to replace Maria
with either Katie Couric or Meredith Vieira.

--She suspected him of pumping more than iron.

--They're a Hollywood couple . . . so naturally it has to
be because of Angelina Jolie.

-He wants to get back into movies . . . and women
half his age.

--Whitney Houston is in rehab again.  If you'd like to send
your well-wishes, she's in the Whitney Houston room at the
Whitney Houston wing of the Whitney Houston rehab clinic.

Thieves grabbed 24 laptops in 60 seconds at an Apple
Store in Ohio.  By the time they reached the getaway car
the models were obsolete.

85% of college grads are moving back in with their
parents.  I'm proud to say the thought of doing that NEVER
crossed my mind.  You know, graduating from college.

Microsoft has agreed to purchase Skype for $8.5 billion .
You do know, Microsoft, that you can use
Skype for free?

A new study finds that many elderly people get colon
screenings too often.  This just in:  your grandparents are
perverts!

And time for our blast from the past segment:

First off how about a celebrity b-day...actually the only reason I talk about porn star b-days are because of the funny titles...

--PETER NORTH - 54  ("THE NORTH POLE"!  Legend who's been
in OVER 1,790 fine films, including "The Best Rears of Our
Lives", "Pocahotass", "The Hindlick Maneuver" AND "On
Golden Blonde"!)

Haha oddly enough it was on this day in 1960 - The first ever BIRTH CONTROL PILL hit the market.

1981 - A brain tumor killed BOB MARLEY in Miami.  He was
only 36

1997 - IBM Supercomputer DEEP BLUE defeated world champion
GARRY KASPAROV at chess.  It was the first time a computer
had ever defeated a world champion chess player.

--14 years later, IBM's "Watson" computer absolutely SMOKED
the two best "Jeopardy!" players in history.  Sorry folks .
. . THE RISE OF THE MACHINES has begun. Have a great day..hopefully our morning show is stalker free on this hump day!

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Osama’s Medicine Cabinet

Tuesday, May 10th, 2011

Everytime I think I’m getting tired of Osama Bin Laden another funny detail is released…(Exhibit A)

This is one of our favorites so far.
 Among the medications found in bin Laden's medicine
cabinet, they found HERBAL VIAGRA.  Not the real stuff . .
 something called Avena syrup, which is one of those phony
'natural' engorgement aids

Speaking of junk,   Former Guns N' Roses Drummer Steven Adler Says
Steven Tyler's Junk Puts His Manhood to Shame:

 ADLER has been saying all kinds of crazy stuff to remain relevant . . . and to
convince AXL ROSE to bring him back into the Guns N' Roses
fold.  (--Assuming there even is such a "fold" anymore.)

--But this takes the cake:  For whatever reason, Steven was
talking to a TMZ photographer about his genitalia, and in
the process he admitted that STEVEN TYLER'S junk puts his
own manhood to shame. He should be red-faced for talking about another man's pecker..

Carrie Underwood is happy Mike Fisher's season ended last night with the Nashville Predators..Check this out..

UNDERWOOD'S hockey-playing husband Mike Fisher is a
total team player.  Last month he had to drop the gloves
and go after an opponent who landed a cheap shot on his
teammate.

--And he also joined his fellow Nashville Predators players
to go UNSHAVEN during their Stanley Cup playoff run . . .
which ended last night when they were eliminated by
Vancouver in game six.

--Problem is, the beard was a pain on Carrie's face.  She
says, quote, "We're almost at the point where we're having
kissing refusal, because it hurts!  It hurts my face."  And
it sounds like Mike wasn't getting much lovin' from Carrie.
 

--She continues, quote, "He's not the nicest guy either.
 He's focused on game day, and then with the beard, I'm
like, 'Baby, you look mean, so you need to work on being a
little extra nice to make up for the beard.'" Winning the Stanley Cup, every Canadian kids dream....having relations with Underwood..every heterosexual guy's dream!

I don't think anybody saw this one coming:  After 25 years
of marriage, ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER and MARIA SHRIVER have
SEPARATED.  Maria reportedly moved out two weeks ago.

In other random entertainment news:

KID ROCK will be the subject of Comedy Central's next
roast.  There's no word yet who'll do the roasting.  It's
scheduled to tape on August 14th. Kid Rock is in the "City That Rhymes with Fun" Monday May 23rd...We've got tix all week...

PAUL MCCARTNEY gave his fiancée a $650,000 rock...no prenup for Paul....what a dummy...his last marriage cost him almost 48 million...Ethopia has just proposed to MCCARTNEY..

Here are some random Rock tidbits....

On this day in 1976 - ACE FREHLEY of KISS married Jeanette Trerotola.
 There was nearly a riot at the reception at New York's
Americana Hotel, when one of Ace's friends, a gay musician
dressed all in black leather, kissed Jeanette's dad, a
high-ranking Teamster, ON THE LIPS.

And on this day in 1986 - TOMMY LEE married HEATHER LOCKLEAR.  They divorced
in 1993.  (--Who would have thought that in 2011, Tommy
would be considered the more stable one?) Hey that is all for today..Thanks for reading our blog we put alot of effort into it...Actually other people give us the effort..we cut and paste..haha...have a great day...Ballsy....



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Now That’s A Royal Event I’d Like To See

Monday, May 9th, 2011

I'm starting to think that the true legacy of the Royal
Wedding is that it made PIPPA MIDDLETON . . . the sister of
the bride . . . into an international sex symbol.  And
here's the proof:

--The smut company Vivid Entertainment is offering Pippa $5
MILLION . . . yes, that's a five followed by SIX ZEROES . .
. to do porno.  Actually, all they're asking for is, quote,
"one explicit scene."  And she gets to pick her partner.

--They also said they'd pay her brother James $1 million to
do a scene of his own.  (--Here's the letter from Vivid
boss Steven Hirsch to Pippa.)

--The last high-profile offer Vivid made was to the
Octomom, NADYA SULEMAN . . . and that was "only" for $1
million.  She didn't go for it. Thanks God...

--Bryan Adams just became a first-time father.  So for
Bryan Adams, last summer was more than just the "summer of 69."

--Evidence recovered in the raid on Osama bin Laden shows
that he dyed his beard.  Not video evidence, just empty
boxes of "Just for Jihadists."

--Demonstrators in Pakistan spent the weekend burning
American flags and threatening President Obama.  Whoa.
 Ease up, people.  HE'S not the one who cancelled "All My
Children".

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg bought a $7 million
mansion in Palo Alto . . .

     . . . Zuckerberg plans to constantly change the
mansion's design until everybody hates it.

     . . . It's a big deal for Mark.  After all, he's been
saving up for four . . . seconds.

ON This Day...in 1899 - The LAWN MOWER was patented . . .

And finally it's Monday, but it could be worse:  It could be Saturday in Manila, in the Philippines, where they held "Free Circumcision Day."  According to a city health official, nearly 1,500 boys aged nine and up had been circumcised by mid-afternoon, using temporary operating tables inside a sports stadium.  They're also applying to Guinness, to snag the world record for number of people attending a mass circumcision. Am I the only guy who doesn't like to hear the words circumcision and snag in the same story? That just sounds like a horrible idea...Cheers..Ballsy..

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Cinco de Mayo!

Thursday, May 5th, 2011

Hey do you celebrate May 5th? Normally we don’t….but today with the help of Wolf Boy we are!!!

With that in mind I got this from Ask Men.com:

LIFESTYLE NONSENSE

Five Things You Didn’t Know About Cinco de Mayo:

Today is Cinco de Mayo, so most people get hammered and
don’t actually understand what they’re celebrating.  So
here are five things you didn’t know about Cinco de Mayo.

#1.)  It’s Not Mexican Independence Day.  Mexican
Independence Day . . . or “Gritto de Delores” . . . is
celebrated on September 16th, and it commemorates the day
in 1810 when a Catholic priest declared war on Spain.

#2.)  It Celebrates a Victory Over France.  In 1861, Mexico
defaulted on loans from a bunch of countries in Europe, so
France invaded the next year.  The French hadn’t been
beaten in 50 years, but on May 5th, 1862, the Mexicans won
the Battle of Puebla.

–The French took the country over a year later, but Cinco
de Mayo celebrates the FIRST battle.

#3.)  It’s More Popular in the U-S and Canada Than It Is in Mexico.
 It’s not a national holiday In Mexico, and it’s mostly
celebrated by people near the city of Puebla, which is in
the southeastern part of the country.

–It only became popular in the U.S. in the 50′s and 60′s,
partly because of FDR’s ‘Good Neighbor’ policy of
strengthening our ties with Latin America.

#4.)  It’s Also Popular in . . . Malta?  Malta’s an island
nation in the Mediterranean Sea, just below Italy.  And
Cinco de Mayo is popular there too . . . but only because
people in Malta supposedly LOVE Corona.

–Corona’s sold in over 150 countries, and it’s the fifth
best-selling beer in the world.

#5.)  They Celebrate in Chandler, Arizona by Racing
Chihuahuas.  There’s no real reason behind it.  Other than
the obvious reason that it’s AWESOME.

In other news…

–President Obama has decided NOT to release the
gruesome photos of a dead Osama bin Laden . . .  

     . . . It wasn’t a tough decision; it was a “NO
BRAINER!”

Mariah Carey named her twins Moroccan Scott and Monroe
Cannon.  When President Obama heard this, he immediately
dispatched a team of Navy SEALs to rescue them.

–ABC is developing “Celebrity Wife Swap”.  Bill Clinton
has already requested to be on an episode with Michael
Douglas.

–New York City announced that its new taxi will be a
Nissan minivan.  The new cabs feature a super-efficient
engine that runs so quietly you can actually hear the Mets
sucking.

–TV ownership is down in America.  I guess, what’s the
point in having a TV if you don’t have a home?

And how would you like to be Brad Wall and the Sask Party government today..The teachers are holding a rally at the Leg…Good luck getting in and out of your parking space today….Cheers Ballsy!

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Bite Me Wednesday!

Wednesday, May 4th, 2011

First I’d like to thank the person who responded to my blog yesterday…It was the most well written blog post( outside of mine haha)  that I have read… Thanks for the comments both positive and negative..I encourage you to go read it…It’s the one entitled “Just Go Away”…and while I understand some people may be upset because I was making fun of death I won’t stop…Let’s face it..It’s not just any death..It’s the death of a terrorist..A man who was a hypocrite ( he didn’t live in poverty he lived in a mansion). He was coward who showed no remorse for orchestrating an attack that killed so many and ruined so many lives…Honestly I wish they didn’t kill him..I wanted him alive so they could beat his ass everyday….and today as the title of this blog suggests I want to say “Bite Me” to Pittsburgh Steelers running back Rasard Mendenhall..why? check out what he said…

 Count Pittsburgh Steelers running back RASHARD MENDENHALL
among those who are NOT happy that OSAMA BIN LADEN was
killed Sunday night.

--He's also not cool with people who ARE happy about it.
 And he vented his frustrations on Twitter.

--He said, quote, "What kind of person celebrates death?
 It's amazing how people can HATE a man they have never
even heard speak.  We've only heard one side."

--He continued, quote, "We'll never know what really
happened.  I just have a hard time believing a plane could
take a skyscraper down demolition style."

--Then he added, quote, "For those of you who said you want
to see Bin Laden burn . . . I ask how would God feel about
your heart?"

 Like I said earlier, If you look at what Mendenhall is saying as a whole,there are a few sentiments that aren't so bad.  Well, maybe there's only one:  Celebrating ANYONE'S death IS kind of morbid.  And maybe not exactly something God would want you to do. But isn't strange to mourn a heartless terrorist?

--However, the whole "truther" nonsense . . . that 9/11
was an inside job . . . well, that's got to go.

 Also, the idea that we haven't heard Osama's side of the story?  What does that even mean?  Osama put his point across VERY clearly by killing thousands of North Americans on our own soil.
--And so, Rashard Mendenhall, I quote the immortal poet
Black Dynamite when I say . . . You need to SHUT THE EFF UP WHEN GROWN FOLKS IS TALKIN'!

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Just Go Away Already!

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

Just What We Needed!  Ryan Seacrest Is Developing Some Kind
of Music-Related Reality Show:  

Remember SIMON COWELL believes that his "X Factor"
show is NOTHING like "American Idol" . . . when it sounds
basically like the same thing, with a few tweaks here and
there.. So why would Ryan Seacrest develop a show that
competes with another show he HOSTS? Well the American Idol star says his work in progress is NOT a traditional "singing competition show" . . . And that is great news because that's on my list of the kinds of TV shows we definitely DO
NOT need any more of.

--Off the top of my head, the list would include:  SETH
MACFARLANE animated shows, "Law & Order" spin-offs,
melodramatic dramas set in hospitals, melodramatic dramas
about conflicted lawyers . . .

--Shows about people with some kind of odd handicap that
helps authorities solve crimes, "Real Housewives of
[Wherever]" spin-offs, reality shows in which all the
contestants live together in the same house . . .

--Reality shows where someone selects someone to marry from
a group of strangers, singing competition shows, and
seasons of "Celebrity Apprentice". These shows should all JUST GO AWAY!

Time now for:

Jokes Dyslexic

The Answer:    Osama Bin Laden and the U.S. economy.
The Question:  Name two things President Obama killed.

The Answer:    Osama Bin Laden and anyone standing in line
for "Thor".
The Question:  Name two people now surrounded by virgins.

And Since his final destination was never in question, check out the Top Things Overheard on Osama Bin Laden's First Day in Hell.

--Sorry if your "Welcome Home" cake is stale.  We baked it
9 and a half years ago.

--Satan's running late to meet with you.  It's taking
longer than usual to remove his Dr. Phil makeup.

--FYI:  When you meet Satan, don't tell him how much he
sounds like Miley Cyrus.  He hates that.

--Hey dude, at least you're out of Pakistan.

--No, God's name isn't Allah.  It's Oprah.

--Before you can come in, I'm going to have to see your
long-form death certificate.
 

--You'll be sharing a room with Hitler and the guy who came
up with the phrase, "Working hard, or HARDLY WORKING?"

--I'll help you shoot your training video, but I don't know
where we can get a Betamax camera from 1983.

--Remember when you chopped off those women's hands for
attempting to drive?  Well, their hands are back, and now
they're going to use them to bash the crap out of your
nads.

--Actually, you get used to the flames nipping at your
heels.  It's the Justin Bieber music 24/7 that'll make you
want to tear your eyes out.

--So you got killed.  Hey, "Shiite happens!"

Have a great day! oh and how about that...a Conservative majority...Not sure if I think that is good or bad for our province since their MP's don't have a voice anyway...Cheers..Ballsy

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History in the making!

Monday, May 2nd, 2011

1st off get out and vote today….Polls in Saskatchewan close at 7:30 pm…by that time the election should be decided and I hope we get a majority government…

It’s also a big day because WE GOT EM! Yes after almost 10 years Osama Bin Laden has been captured…well, killed then captured…He was killed in Pakistan by U.S. Special Forces, and
they have got the body.  And this is for real . . . basic
forensic tests confirmed it’s him, and further DNA tests
will be done to prove it beyond any doubt.

–Turns out bin Laden wasn’t in a cave after all.  He was
in THE SUBURBS, hiding in a million-dollar mansion in a
city called Abbottabad.  It’s a city of about a million
people 60 miles northeast of Islamabad, the capital of
Pakistan.

–This wasn’t an ordinary mansion, of course.  It was EIGHT
TIMES larger than any of the others on the block . . .
surrounded by 12- to 18-foot walls topped with barbed wire
. . . and part of a compound with insanely heavy security.

–Three helicopters carrying a small team of Navy Seals
choppered in from Afghanistan, dropped the Seals into the
compound to capture bin Laden, and ended up in a firefight.
 

–Bin Laden was shot in the head and killed during the
fight, along with one of his sons, two couriers, and a
woman they were using as a human shield.  The whole thing
took about 40 minutes, and there were no American
casualties.  It’s speculated his body will be buried at sea so wing nuts won’t be able to have a shrine for him…Good call…(

--Huge win for President Obama.  Last week, while TRUMP
was ranting endlessly about Obama's birth certificate, the
President was in the final stages of planning to kill bin
Laden.  How trivial does his birth certificate look now?)

Time now for your Osama's dead jokes..

--Osama Bin Laden is dead . . .

     . . . Donald Trump is demanding to see the death
certificate.

--President Obama called President Bush.  Not to brief him.
 He asked to borrow that "Mission Accomplished" banner.

--President Obama held a Sunday evening press conference to
announce that Osama Bin Laden is dead.  And also to disrupt
"Celebrity Apprentice".  But mostly, to announce that Bin
Laden is dead.

--Osama Bin Laden's last words:  So my new iPhone really
WAS tracking my location

Back in the day:

1933 - The first sighting of the LOCH NESS MONSTER in
SCOTLAND was reported when a couple drove by and saw "an
enormous animal rolling and plunging on the surface" of
Loch Ness.

2003 - GEORGE W. BUSH stood on the flight deck of the USS
Abraham Lincoln with a banner with the words "Mission
Accomplished" printed on it. He announced that major combat
operation in Iraq were over.  There are still 50,000 troops
there.  Fail.

and finally the U-S government has begun its next "big hunt"...The search for Charlie Sheen's sanity..

Chuck Lorre posted one of those "vanity cards" at the end
of "The Big Bang Theory" last week about a monkey that was
on heroin.  Everybody obviously thinks he was taking a
crack at Charlie Sheen.  But Sheen responded by saying he's
NEVER done heroin. Sheen also ripped Lorre in a letter  basically finishing off any chance he had of coming back to 2 and a Half Men...

#2.)  Charlie is going to unveil his very own brand of
electronic cigarettes called NicoSheen.  

#3.)  During his show in San Francisco on Friday, Charlie
challenged a heckler to throw down with him.  He said,
quote, "Get your (effing) ass down here or leave the
building."  Security ended up removing the guy.  

#4.)  Charlie donated proceeds from Saturday's show to
Brian Stow . . . a San Francisco Giants fan who was placed
in a medically-induced coma after being brutally beaten at
Dodger Stadium last month by Dodger fans.  

Have a great day! and remember get out and vote....Cheers Ballsy..

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