–A statistician put together a chart of all 365 days of the year based on the total births on each of those days between 1973 and 1999. You’ll want to check out your date, but here are some highlights.

–The least-popular date for birthdays was February 29th, obviously . . . since it only occurs once every four years on a leap year, when there are actually 366 days in a year.

–The second least popular day is December 25th. Apparently that birthday is already TAKEN.

–September 11th is the 24th most common . . . but that’s now dropping.

 –July and August have the second and third most births.

 –Generally, major holidays have a lot fewer births around them . . . people really don’t induce on those days. July 4th has the fewest births of any summer day, and July 5th is second. Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day are also sparse.

 –The only exception is Valentine’s Day. It has the most births of ANY day in the first five months of the year.

 –The 13th of every month also has a dip in births. It seems to be the least popular day overall.

 (Daily Viz)

 (–Check out the interactive chart here where you can click your birthday to find its rank.)

Want to buy a $10 raffle ticket and win a trip to space? Just go to idreamofspace.com.

A woman in Florida says she thought her husband was rubbing her back at a truck stop because he loved her . . . but it turns out he was stuffing Slim Jims and Pop Tarts into her bag. They were both arrested

Turns out GAYDAR isn’t a myth . . . it’s real, and straight people have it too. A new study at the University of Washington found people of both genders and sexual orientations were able to accurately recognize gay men’s faces 57% of the time, and lesbian women’s faces 65% of the time.

49-year-old Colorado Rockies pitcher JAMIE MOYER became the oldest player to drive in a run last night . . . when he beat out an infield hit that he probably shouldn’t have against the Arizona Diamondbacks. (–Check out video here.)

(–Moyer also won the game for the Rockies on the mound, which means he re-broke his own record of oldest pitcher to win a Major League game. The opposing pitcher, Patrick Corbin, is 22 years old.)

It’s “College Week” on “Wheel of Fortune”, and on Tuesday, a senior from Reed College in Portland, Oregon named Zach made it to the final puzzle . . . then completely BLEW IT.

–All but two letters were showing, but the answer was obviously “Magic blank-A-N-D.” Somehow, Zach guessed “magic hand . . . magic band . . . magic yand . . . sand . . . vand . . . cand . . . jand . . . pand . . . fand . . . everything BUT “magic wand”.

–He realized what it was right after he ran out of time. So if he’d said it a half-second sooner, he would have won a Toyota Prius.

–He’d already won $19,950 though, so we don’t feel TOO bad for him. Search for “Wheel of Fortune Magic Wand.” He starts guessing at 1:25.)

Have an awesome day! Ballsy

Earlier this month, a rare baby monkey at a zoo in China swallowed a whole peanut, and it could’ve killed him. He was too small for laxatives, so a 50-year-old zookeeper coaxed him to poop it out . . . by licking the monkey’s anus for over an hour straight. It worked, the peanut came out, and the monkey was saved. It is a true story..I checked twice to make sure….I still can’t believe it…

SOME PEOPLE IN OUR WORLD ARE MESSED UP FOR SURE!

Back in March of 2010, a 16-year-old got his hands on the intercom at a Walmart and announced, quote, “All black people must leave the store.” He was arrested. Now, one man who was in the store at the time has decided to SUE Walmart. He’s black and he says the announcement caused him severe emotional and psychological harm. He says Walmart was negligent and is seeking $1 MILLION. STILL SHAKING MY HEAD OVER THIS ONE TOO!

AND LETS WRAP THIS BLOG UP BY TALKING SOME KATE UPTON….I KNEW YOU’D LIKE THAT!!!

The next “Sports Illustrated” Swimsuit Issue doesn’t come out for another nine months . . . but the photo shoots are already underway.

 –This year’s cover girl KATE UPTON Tweeted some photos from her shoot . . . and you’ll probably enjoy them. (–Check ‘em out here.) (Egotastic)

 (–By the way . . . I don’t know what that guy gets paid to put his hand on Kate’s butt . . . but I’ll take that job. And if it doesn’t pay enough to feed my family, screw it. My kids can panhandle. It’s an honest living. No shame in it.)

Hey guys love the show…How about this for a topic Monday mornin”

My wife is six months pregnant, and I didn’t get her anything for Mother’s Day. Big mistake.

 –She said even though she hadn’t had the baby, she still FEELS like a mother, and I should have gotten her something.

  -The thing is, I actually DID get her some stuff . . . for when the baby comes: Diapers . . . a mobile . . . some kids’ books. It was more of a joke than anything.

 –But she was disappointed, and said she expected me to get her an actual gift, like a gift card to a spa or something.

 –Do you have to get your pregnant wife a gift for Mother’s Day? Is a pregnant woman even technically a ‘mother’ yet?\

Have a great day, Brad

And check out this cool video…

In the ’90s, DAN MAJERLE (–pronounced Mar-lee) was a three-time All-Star in the NBA.

–Now he’s an assistant coach for the Phoenix Suns, but on Saturday he took in an Arizona Diamondbacks baseball game, and caught a ground-rule double.

 –If you haven’t seen the footage of it, it’s hilarious. He was standing in a VIP area in center field with  plate of food in one hand. And he didn’t even have to move.

 –He just stuck his arm out, grabbed the ball, then froze for about ten seconds, and stared at it like he couldn’t believe what just happened.

 (–Search for “Dan Majerle Caught an Automatic Double.” He catches it at :05, and they show the replay at :36.)

Have a great Monday..Ballsy

In the past few weeks, we’ve seen a lot of surveys and studies that all say the same thing: You are the WORLD’S WORST CHILD if you don’t make a big deal out of your mom this Sunday. Well . . . it’s possible that she doesn’t care QUITE that much.

–According to a brand new survey, only 2% of moms say Mother’s Day is their favorite holiday of the year. That’s just one out of 50.

–61% picked Christmas as their favorite holiday. Thanksgiving was second with 21%.

–The survey also found that 95% of mothers say they enjoy spending time with their children, 88% say their children bring them a lot of happiness, and only 9% say being a parent is a real burden.

I REALLY enjoy forcing people to rank how much they love different family members. It’s so uncomfortable and yet so fascinating.

–A new Mother’s Day survey had the cojones to do that . . . they asked women who they love more, their KIDS or their HUSBAND? “I love them both the same” was NOT an option.

–And the result was . . . a BLOWOUT. 75% of mothers said they love their KIDS more than their HUSBAND.

–The survey also asked people who they love more, their mother or father . . . but they copped out and let people say “I love them both the same.”

–Still, 43% said they love their mom more than their dad . . . 13% love their dad more than their mom . . . and the rest took the easy way out.

And In honor of Mother’s Day, Cineplex Entertainment asked people which movie characters most reminded them of their in-laws.

–And 34% . . . about one out of every three people . . . picked a VILLAIN. Here are the eight characters people named the most:

#1.) 11% of people went for the easy answer and said the Wicked Witch of the West from “The Wizard of Oz” reminds them of their mother-in-law.

#2.) 7% of people said the ‘Joker’ reminds them of their father-in-law.

#3.) Five different villains tied at 3%: The Penguin . . . Dr. Evil from “Austin Powers” . . . Hannibal Lecter . . . Darth Vader . . . and Gollum from “Lord of the Rings”.

#4.) And 1% of people said Jessica Rabbit from “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” reminded them of their mother-in-law.

(Ipsos)

–According to separate surveys on Mother’s Day spending in the U.S. and Canada, your son loves you more than your daughter.

 –In the U.S., the average man will spend $189.74 on Mother’s Day. That’s almost 62% more than the average woman, who will spend $117.42.

 –In Canada, the average man will spend $105.02 on Mother’s Day. That’s 69% more than the average woman, who will spend $61.99.

 –According to one retail analyst, men usually spend more on gifts for big holidays than women. Quote, “Men tend to have their wallets out less often. But when they do, it’s for big purchases. So there’s a different expectation about what to spend.”

 This number seems low . . . but at least SOME mothers are willing to admit they’re HELICOPTER MOMS. In a new survey, 17% of mothers say they’re EXTREMELY hands-on in their children’s lives and, yeah, they’re helicopter moms. The survey also found 49% of mothers have friended their children on Facebook.

Speaking of moms….

I’m calling it now: Octomom NADYA SULEMAN WILL do full-on porno before the year is out. Because she just started doing the self-pleasuring stuff and she’s already LOVING IT.

 –She says, quote, “My first shoot was amazing. Such a learning experience for me in so many ways. I don’t think I could have asked for a better crew to work with. They were so patient and willing to teach me.”

 –She also gives props to mattress actress JESSICA DRAKE, who, quote, “opened my eyes to a whole different world of self-pleasure that I could have never imagined.”

 –She adds, quote, “They made me look so glamorous, and for the first time in my life, I felt beautiful and sexy. I’m very excited for it to come out!”

  -In addition to video, Nayda also did a photo shoot in which she’s covered in Spaghetti-Os. But the label was changed to say “Saucy Octos”. (???)

How about some sexy pics?

I don’t know how much airbrushing had to happen, but TARA REID looks really good in the new issue of Britain’s “Loaded” magazine. 

(Egotastic)

 Would anyone object to some MARIA MENOUNOS bikini pics? I didn’t think so. 

(Egotastic)

CMT has announced a new show called “Redneck Island”. It’s basically “Survivor” . . . with rednecks only.

–12 Americans from “the South” are sent to a tropical island, where they compete in “mental and physical challenges.” Each week a contestant is voted off the island. The winner gets $100,000.

–Former wrestler STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN is the host. He says, quote, “If there’s one thing I know, it’s how to keep a bunch of rednecks in line. And that’s the bottom line!” The show premieres sometime next month.

And this should be good…

Today on day time tube..

–“Dr. Phil” – NFL stud Terrell Owens discusses the accusations of being a deadbeat dad and comes face to face with the mothers of his children.

AND FINALLY…FELLAS APPRECIATE WHAT YOUR WIFE PUTS ON YOUR PLATE…

Last month, a 69-year-old man in Siberia got into a fight with his wife over her cooking and stormed out. And got lost in a frozen Siberian forest . . . for a MONTH. He survived on eating hay and drinking snow . . . when some farmers found him he was severely frostbitten and may lose both of his legs. After the rescue, he said he won’t be criticizing his wife’s cooking again.

Have a great Tuesday…Ballsy

 –He had to be carted off the field, and they announced later that he was out for the season with a torn ACL.

 –Ironically, Rivera likes running down fly balls during batting practice because it helps him stay in shape. In the video, you can see A-Rod yelling “Oh my God! Oh my God!” after he sees what happened.

 (–The video is on MLB.com. Search for “Mo Injured in Batting Practice.” A-Rod reacts at :29, and the replay is at 1:11.)

Rivera is 42 and was hinting that this may be his last season…time will tell….

–46% of people don’t know how to install a faucet, and 14% don’t even know how to do step one: Turning off the water in their house.

–One in three people don’t know how to install a light fixture.

–45% of people can’t replace a broken zipper on their clothes, including two out of three men.

–And 28% of people don’t know how to change a tire, including nearly half of all women.

BALLSY USELESS SPORTS FACTS

If you go to a Major League Baseball game this year, here’s what you can expect to pay. The average ticket price is $27, or $88 for a good seat. The average hot dog is $4.13. And the average price for a 15-ounce beer is $6.10.

–Here are some of the highest-paid athletes from the big sports . . .

–Boxing.  Manny Pacquiao was the highest-paid athlete in the world last year . . . he made $50 million for two boxing title fights last year.

–Baseball.  Alex Rodriguez of the Yankees, $30 million.

–Football.  Believe it or not, the highest-paid NFL player was a defensive end on the Carolina Panthers named Charles Johnson, who took down $34 million.

–Basketball.  Kobe Bryant made $25.24 million in 2011.

–Hockey.  The highest-paid NHL player was Brad Richards from the New York Rangers.  He made $12 million.

–Golf.  Luke Donald had the best year in 2011, making $9.5 million in prize money.  The female golfer who made the most was Yani Tseng, who made $2.9 million on the LPGA tour.

-Tennis.  Novak Djokovic made $12.6 million in prize money last year.  For women, Petra Kvitova made $5.15 million . . . that makes her the highest-paid female athlete in the world.

–Auto racing.  The real money has always been in Formula One.  Fernando Alonso made $40 million last year in Formula One racing.

–And now some people raking in cash in smaller sports . . .

–Badminton.  For men, Lee Chong Wei made $267,350 in prize money.  For women, Wang Yihan made $277,550.  This is one of the only sports where the top female out-earned the top male.

–Bowling.  Sean Rash made $140,250 on the PBA tour.

-Darts.  Phil Taylor made $938,497 in prize money in 2011.

-Competitive eating.  Joey Chestnut made $205,000 winning eating contests.

–Fishing.  Kevin VanDam made $706,500 on the Bassmaster Elite Series.

–Racquetball.  Kane Waselenchuk made $270,000 on the International Racquetball Tour.

–Sumo wrestling.  Hakuho of the Japan Sumo Association made $1.1 million. 

-One final comment.  Even though he didn’t make this list . . . because Pacquiao out-earned him . . . Floyd Mayweather was the highest-earning U.S. athlete last year.  He made $40 million for one boxing match.

WORLD TIDBITS

-Delta Airlines bought an oil refinery so it can make its own fuel.  Next up, purchasing a soda manufacturing plant so you can actually have the whole can!

 –The Secret Service says its low number of female agents doesn’t indicate sexism. It’s just that women are genetically incapable of keeping secrets.

 –Ashlee Simpson told “People” magazine that she is in love with sister Jessica’s newborn daughter. Actually, someone else said that, and Ashlee just moved her mouth.

 –Gwyneth Paltrow says that she likes to be “manhandled” in bed.  Then I was all like, “I don’t feel like that tonight, let’s just make love” . . . and she obliged.

 –The cast of “Bridesmaids” is up for multiple MTV Movie Awards. If they win, they’ll be the first group honored by MTV for crapping in a sink since Motley Crue.

 –Duran Duran has been selected to kick-off the 2012 Olympics. Because nothing says world-class athleticism like men in eyeliner.

–There’s a new video of Kate Upton in a tiny bikini doing the Cat Daddy dance. It’s hot, yes, but after the first 400 views it almost gets repetitive.

-A new article claims the universe may be home to alien planets ruled by advanced dinosaurs.  It appears in this month’s issue of “Things Gary Busey Mumbles”.

JOKES DYSLEXIC

The Answer: Bones, sticks and Mel Gibson.

The Question: Name three things that snap.
 

The Answer: “Money From Strangers”.

The Question: Name a new prank show on MTV, OR what prostitutes get when the Secret Service visits their town.

The Answer: Christina Hendricks and Costco.

The Question: Name things known for their gigantic cans.

HAVE A GREAT DAY…IT’S ALMOST THE WEEKEND! BALLSY

ARE YOU LAZY?

You’re NOT going to believe this, so I hope you’re sitting down. It turns out there are some people out there who are LAZY. I know, right? Who knew? According to a new poll by Weight Watchers, here’s how lazy we are . . .

 –The average person does nothing but SIT four nights a week.

 -The average driver gets in their car to go someplace within walking distance an average of 3.7 times per week.

 –28% of people say they’re so lazy they ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.

 –12% of people clean their room by shoving things under their bed.

 –17% regularly choose sleep over sex.

 –And 20% say they never do ANY exercise, ever.

There are two celebrity body parts that I simply MUST see naked before I die: JENNIFER LOPEZ’S butt and SOFIA VERGARA’S breasts.

–Make that ONE . . . because Sofia bared her breasts for the Mexican edition of “GQ”. Well, she WAS wearing a shirt . . . but it was SEE-THROUGH. So until we get a TRUE topless shot, this will have to do.

(–Check it out, along with a few other pics from the magazine, here.)

AND NOW SOME WORLD TIDBITS

–An Australian billionaire is building a replica of the Titanic, equipped with modern technology. Because spending his cash on curing world hunger would simply be tasteless.

It will be called ”Titanic 2″. . .

 The billionaire investor is not superstitious about names, according to his son, Lucifer.

–More and more men are choosing their kids over their careers . . .

 Provided their careers are not in the NBA.

 Fortunately for Billy Ray Cyrus, they’re actually one-in-the-same.

Have an awesome day! Ballsy

–“Sniper Elite v2“(M) . . . on Xbox360 and PS3. In this World War II tactical shooter your goal is to hollow out the heads of Nazis working on Germany’s V2 rocket program. This franchise features an X-ray kill cam that shows every detail of your shot’s impact, including hearts and lungs tearing, livers bursting, and bones and teeth shattering. The game also includes four modes of online co-op. (Trailer)

–“Mortal Kombat“(M) . . . on Vita. This handheld version of “Mortal Kombat” includes all previously available downloadable characters and content, plus Vita-specific additions like touchscreen fatalities and the ability to have the background of your fight be anything the camera on your Vita is aimed at. (Trailer)
–The next “Call of Duty” game will be revealed on May 1st during the NBA Playoffs on TNT.

- CALVIN JOHNSON is the cover athlete for “Madden 13″. He beat out CAM NEWTON by almost seven million votes.

This is excellent news for Winnipeg–

A scientist in Australia has studied the topic for more than 35 years, and concluded . . . it’s okay to marry your first cousin. More than 1.1 billion people in the world are either married to a close relative, or are the child of an incestuous marriage. Cousin-on-cousin pairings are 4% more likely to have birth defects, but the scientist says that might be because cousins are more likely to marry in poor places, which could cause the higher rate.

There’s a fun list of “Forgotten Couples of the ’90s” on Buzzfeed.com . . . and no matter how celebrity-obsessed you may be, you probably have forgotten about some of them. Here’s the list:

 –Sheryl Crow and Owen Wilson

 –Matthew Perry and Julia Roberts

 –Mariah Carey and Derek Jeter

 –Edward Furlong and Natasha Lyonne

 –Pamela Anderson and Bret Michaels

 –Bjork and Goldie

 –Liv Tyler and Leonardo DiCaprio

 –Dennis Rodman and Madonna

 –Danny Wood of New Kids on the Block and Halle Berry

 –Ashley Judd and Michael Bolton

 –Jewel and Sean Penn

 –Woody Harrelson and Glenn Close

 –Edward Norton and Courtney Love

  -David Arquette and Alyssa Milano

 –Naomi Campbell and Robert DeNiro

 –Fiona Apple and David Blaine

 –Joey Lawrence and Keri Russell

 –Neil Patrick Harris and Christine Taylor . . . Now, he’s gay and she’s married to Ben Stiller.

 –Paris Hilton and Edward Furlong

 -Kathy Griffin and Jack Black

 –Jennifer Aniston and Adam Duritz of Counting Crows

 –Debi Mazar and Paul Reubens

 –Madonna and Vanilla Ice

 –Alanis Morissette and Dave Coulier

 –Brandy and Usher

 –Ellen Barkin and Johnny Depp

 –Jennifer Love Hewitt and Joey Lawrence

 –Tiffani-Amber Thiessen and Pauly Shore

 (–You can find pictures of all the couples together at Buzzfeed.com.)

Depending on who you ask, dogs are loyal simpletons, while cats are sneaky and out for themselves . . . and now SCIENCE has confirmed it. A study found that dogs will read human cues and follow their lead, even if it means eating a smaller dish of food. Meanwhile, cats have managed to develop a special purr that is so annoying to people, it’ll make us do almost anything to make it stop. I hate cats!!

Have a great week! Ballsy

This is even more OUTRAGEOUS.

Here’s a little reminder of just how INSANE things still are in some parts of the world. Right now, the Egyptian parliament is debating a law that would make it legal for men to have sex with their WIVES’ CORPSES for up to six hours after they die. A Muslim cleric says marriage is a bond that lasts beyond death, so it makes sense. Women’s groups are STRONGLY against the law.

And how about this selfish behaviour from this couple at a Texas Rangers Game, absolutely OUTRAGEOUS.

Michael Kay is a broadcaster for the Yankees, and last night he WENT OFF after two Texas Rangers fans caught a foul ball . . . and wouldn’t give it to the little kid sitting next to them. 

 The kid started crying, but they ignored him and sat there laughing. The woman even posed for a picture, and held the ball up to make sure it was in the shot. It prompted Kay to say they were, quote, “rubbing it in the kid’s face!”

 It had a happy ending though, because someone from the Rangers dugout threw the kid another ball. And Kay got a few more digs in on the couple, who he called “oblivious.”

 (–Deadspin.com has videos of it happening, and of the kid smiling after he finally got a ball. Search for “Worst People Ever Catch Foul Ball.” They show it happen at :36, and she poses for the picture at :55.).

And now some WORLD TIBDITS:

Kim Kardashian admits that the Internet is largely responsible for her fame. That, and Ray J’s pecker..

Kim said it just proves that you can accomplish anything in this world if you just put your cooter to it.

Wayne Brady said he doesn’t understand why people say he’s “not black enough.” Then he resumed humming Mumford & Sons as he drove his Prius to a polo match at Gwyneth Paltrow’s house.

Mark Wahlberg was spotted in Miami Beach with a giant dildo. No word on why he was hanging out with Ashton Kutcher.

The Jacksons announced plans to record their first new album since 1989. They are expected to sound just like they did when Michael was in the group, except without all that pesky talent.

This weekend marks the 20-year anniversary of the Rodney King riots. Isn’t it great to know that racial discord and police brutality are all behind us?

Burger King announced that all their eggs and pork will come from cage-free chickens and pigs by 2017. Pigs and chickens everywhere said they are looking forward to having slightly better living conditions before being brutally murdered.

AshleyMadison.com is offering $1 million to anyone who can prove Tim Tebow has screwed them. So what are you waiting for, Broncos fans? Go get your money!

HAVE A GREAT DAY! BALLSY