May 9th, 2008

WEIRD NEWS Police in Bensalem, Pennsylvania had no trouble tracking down a suspect in
the robbery of three women at a Bucks County convenience store, because the women had taken the man’s picture a short time earlier at a bar. The three victims had been participating in a bachelorette party at a local bar when Andre Smith tried to strike up a conversation with them. While the ladies were taking photos of each other Andre jumped in front of the camera. He was later ejected from the bar for allegedly harassing customers. When two of the women left the bar to go to a nearby convenience store, Smith robbed them of their purses. While he didn’t recognize them, they recognized him and gave police a copy of their photo. A detective later searched nearby apartment complexes looking for Smith, found him and arrested him. (myway.com)
I Would Walk 600 Miles!
Here’s a case of true fatherly love. A 72-year-old Chinese man walked more than 600 miles over 71 days to visit his son in prison. The poor guy had planned to take the train but had his money stolen shortly after leaving home. He begged along the way and sometimes ate food from garbage cans during his two month journey. He said, “I didn’t see him for two years. I am here to visit him and tell him not to worry about me and transform himself for good, while in prison.” Prison wardens were so touched by his story that they even bent the rules to allow him to see his son. The son, Xie Fei, revealed that his father is actually is his adoptive father, as his real parents died when he was ten. Fei said, “He adopted me and loves me very much, but I have nothing to repay all this.” The return home was a little easier as prison guards all chipped in to buy him a train ticket. (Ananova)
Cloudvertising!
Francisco Guerra whose company, Snowmasters Inc, makes machines that churn out fake snow for Hollywood films, is also the man behind the latest advertising sensation — something he calls “Flogos”. Basically these are foam clouds shaped like corporate logos that will float up to 20,000-feet into the air. The 4-foot shapes are made from tiny soapy bubbles filled with helium and can travel for 30 miles before evaporating into thin air. Guerra has invented a machine which can manipulate the bubbles into any shape and pump them into the sky at a rate of one every 15 seconds. He’s already got Disney’s attention and has been hired to send clouds shaped like Mickey Mouse above Disney World. And best of all, Flogos are environmentally safe because they are made from just water, air, helium and a little soap. (Daily Telegraph)
Naughty Niece
27-year-old Magdalena Rouco Hernández is the niece of Cardinal Antonio Maria Rouco Varela — the head of Spain’s Catholic Church. She also happens to be at odds with her uncle and his strict Catholic doctrine, so to protest and embarrass him, she’s appeared topless on the cover of a soft porn magazine. Cardinal Rouco, a close friend of Pope Benedict XVI, leads an ultra conservative wing of the church and has clashed with Spain’s socialist government over issues such as gay marriage and relaxing divorce laws. But Magdalena told the magazine she was brought up believing her uncle was “some kind of saint” and accused him of double standards. She also told the magazine, “When my father died, Rouco did not come to the funeral, didn’t send flowers or tell my mother of his sorrow. He told us he had a meeting with Pope John Paul II, but it was not true. I wanted to lay bare the hypocrisy of my uncle.” (Ananova)
No “Wizardry” in Florida Please!
In Land O’Lakes, Florida, substitute teacher Jim Piculas was fired because school officials accused of performing “wizardry.” The so-called “wizardry” in question was nothing more than a simple magic trick where he made a toothpick disappear before his students. The school district’s Pat Sinclair terminated Jim over the phone and said, “You’ve been accused of wizardry.” Jim says he’s both amused and frustrated and tried to explain to Sinclair that the trick was merely a magic act saying, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s not black magic. It’s a toothpick.” The trick was a simple a hand maneuver that made the toothpick seem to disappear, when it was merely hidden beneath Jim’s thumb. But assistant superintendent Renalia DuBose said that the accusation was merely one of many factors that led to Jim’s termination. Other incidents involved him diverting from the lesson plan, allowing students the use of computers despite the disapproval of the regular teacher, and putting a fifth-grader in charge of the classroom. Holy Cow! He kind of sounds like one of those fun, cool teachers that students love and remember all their lives. Good thing they fired him! (AHN News)
No More Sex Advice From Grandma
If you’re ever flipping through the higher cable channels late night, maybe you’ve seen 77-year-old Sue Johanson’s sex talk show on the Oxygen Network. Alas, Sue is ready to call it a day. She’ll tape her last episode this Sunday ending six years of her show “Talk Sex.” Sue has been advising callers about their sexual health, birth control, sexually transmitted disease, sexual positions, sex toys, and all other things sex related. The Toronto based nurse has been educating the public about these matters since 1984, when she was a radio show host. Her funny, frank, and non-judgmental style, coupled with her age and Canadian accent made her a well-loved and trusted advisor for thousands of callers in Canada and the U.S. (AHN News)
Cultures Different Than Ours
In Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, 11-year-old Mohammed al-Rashidi has married his 10-year-old cousin and told local reporters, “I am ready for this marriage. It will help me study better.” But in Yemen, a courageous 8-year-old girl walked in to a courtroom alone and demanded that the judge grant her a divorce from the 30-year-old man her father had contracted to marry her. The judge, rejecting tradition, granted the divorce. (Yemen Times)

May 9th, 2008

The history of Mother’s Day:

-the earliest celebration can be traced by to ancient Greece and a celebration for Rhea, the Mother of the Gods

-in the 1600’s in England they marked Mothering Sunday which was celebrated on the 4th Sunday of Lent

-in the United States the idea of Mother’s Day was first introduced in 1872 by Julia Ward Howe who held Mother’s Day events in Boston every year… she also wrote the words to The Battle Hymn of The Republic

-However it wasn’t until 1907 that Ana Jarvis of Philadelphia started to campaign for a national Mother’s Day and Philadelphia was the first major city to mark the day

-By 1911 almost every state celebrated Mother’s Day

-Finally in 1914 President Woodrow Wilson made it official proclaiming Mother’s Day a national holiday on the second Sunday every May

May 9th, 2008

It’s going to cost more to see the Buffalo Bills play in Toronto than in Buffalo… …..a lot more… when the Bills take the field against the Fish it will cost… on average… $183 bucks a seat…. In Buffalo the average price is $51 dollars…. The highest average price in the NFL is the Patriots at $91 bucks a seat…. In Toronto there have been 180,000 requests for tickets and there are just 30,000 seats available to the public

May 9th, 2008

FROM THE CANADIAN COUCH: Tonight on Canadian TV:

-the CBC has the NHL Playoffs with Pittsburgh and Philadelphia

-CTV has Ghost Whisperer

-TSN has the NASCAR Nationwide…. Diamond Hill Plywood 200

 

FROM THE CANADIAN COUCH: This weekend on Canadian TV:

Saturday:  in the afternoon at 3:30 TSN has Canada versus Germany at the World Hockey Championships

-the CBC has NHL Playoffs with Detroit and Dallas

-CTV has W5 looking at Canadians who’ve lost out on investments in big companies

-TSN has NASCAR’s Dodge Challenger 500

-CTV has the made in Canada movie Playing House

Sunday: the CBC has NHL Playoffs with Pittsburgh and Philadelphia Sunday night

-Global has the season finale for Survivor…..and it’s three hours long

-Slice has How to Make Love to My Wife

-TSN has boxing with Oscar de la Hoya taking on Steve Forbes

-CTV has the second last episode of Desperate Housewives for this season

May 8th, 2008

According to MensHealth.com, here’s what women want in a man:

  • 90% said tarnished teeth will sink your bid for a first kiss.
  • 73% say gnarly nails guarantee a hands-off evening.
  • 60% say crummy kicks will mar your chances for mating.
  • 97% winging the evening isn’t romantic.
  • 90% say a single vein-popping outburst can be a serious speed bump.

May 8th, 2008

MTV: The nominations are out for the MTV Movie Awards…. The facts:

-the 17th MTV Movie Awards will be held June 1st

-people can vote for their favorites at mtv.com

-Superbad leads the way with the most nominations….Superbad has 5

-Juno was second with four

-Up for best movie are I Am Legend, Juno, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Superbad and Transformers

Other Highlights:

-up for best fight… Alien Versus Predator

-up for best kiss….Daniel Radcliffe and Katie Leung in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

-up for best villain….Angelina Jolie in Beowulf

May 8th, 2008

FROM THE CANADIAN COUCH: Tonight on Canadian TV:

-CTV has ER at seven….

-Global has the second last Survivor Micronesia-the CBC has The Doc Zone with a documentary on what goes into dog food

-TSN has NHL Playoffs with Detroit and Dallas

-CTV has CSI with an episode called Two and a Half Deaths….this episode was written by the writers from Two and a Half Men

-Vision TV has the Barbra Streisand movie Yentl-Discovery has the show Hindenburg: The Titanic of the Skies-CTV has Lost

May 7th, 2008

THINGS WOMEN SAY WHEN THEY’RE STRESSED AT WORK

  • Well, aren’t we a damn ray of sunshine?
  • Well this day was a total waste of make-up.
  • Don’t bother me, I’m living happily ever after.
  • Do I look like a people person?
  • This isn’t an office. It’s hell with fluorescent lighting.
  • I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
  • Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
  • Why don’t you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
  • I’m not crazy. I’ve been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
  • Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
  • Do they ever shut up on your planet?
  • I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
  • Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet.
  • Back off! You’re standing in my aura.
  • Don’t worry. I forgot your name too.
  • I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
  • Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
  • Wait… I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
  • Chaos, panic and disorder … my work here is done.
  • Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
  • You look like crap. Is that the style now?
  • Earth is full. Go home.
  • Aw, did I step on your poor itty bitty ego?
  • I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
  • An errection doesn’t count as personal growth.
  • You are depriving some village of an idiot.
  • If jerks could fly, this place would be an airport.

May 7th, 2008

What was the best advice your mom ever gave you?”

  • “You aren’t getting anything done just sitting there. You’ve got to get up and go get it — a job, success, a glass of soda, whatever — take charge and just do it!” “Appreciate all the blessings that you receive in life, and don’t bemoan the things you can’t have.”
  • “Get an education, once you have it, no one can take it away from you.”
  • “If a guy really wants to talk to you, he’ll call.”
  • “You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change.”
  • “Never count on a man being around forever.”
  • “If you settle for less that’s all you’re going to get.”
  • “Don’t marry the man you can live with - marry the man you can’t live without.”
  • “Stay out of the sun!”

May 7th, 2008

IT’S TIME FOR A NEW CAR WHEN

  • You make a left turn and your date falls out.
  • You lose a “stoplight challenge” to a 16-year-old on a moped.
  • Your temporary spare tire is worn down to the hub.
  • You stop to perform a Chinese fire drill and the car is actually on fire.
  • The (your call letters) traffic reporter starts to refer to you by name.
  • An immigrant family can’t make the rent for your back seat.
  • The only letters left on your Pacer logo are “C” and “R.”
  • The Wal-mart Car Center stops stocking Yugo parts.
  • The little dog with the bouncing head takes a crap on your dashboard.
  • Still have original-eqipment “Admiral” tires.
  • It’s easier to see with your head outside the passenger window.
  • You have to connect the lapbelt from the center seat to the buckle on your driver’s side.
  • Your tilt steering wheel keeps falling into your lap.
  • You burn out a tube in your car radio.