If you’ve never seen it, there’s a great 1970′s PSA on SELF-PLEASURE you should check out called “Caught in the Act.”
It features a kid named Ricky going at it with himself under his sheets. Then his mom walks in, and she’s EXTREMELY understanding about it . . . and also extremely creepy. (Search for “Caught in the Act PSA.”)
4. Is This Rabbit Super Chilled Out, or It This the Scariest Moment of Its Life?
There’s a great video on YouTube of a rabbit getting a bath in the bathroom sink . . . and looking about as relaxed as a rabbit can get.
The thing’s on its back, seemingly passed out, with its head propped up on one end of the sink, and its feet on the other. And it looks like it’s seriously enjoying the high point in its species history.
But some people on Reddit have correctly pointed out that being on their back is actually a STRESSFUL position for rabbits. And the video might show one of the more TERRIFYING moments of its life.
It’s sometimes referred to as a “rabbit trance,” but they’re essentially playing dead. (Search for “Bunny Gets a Shower.” And speaking of playing dead, check out a video of an overdramatic dog playing dead when its owner yells “bang.”)
Tidbits from around the World..
–On Wednesday, the 84-year-old woman in Florida who won the giant Powerball jackpot finally came forward . . . and said she only got the winning ticket because another woman let her CUT in line. Well, now THAT woman has come forward. She’s a 34-year-old mother, and says she has NO REGRETS . . . even if it cost her hundreds of millions of dollars.
–In Texas, a 30-year-old was just ACQUITTED of murder charges for killing a prostitute . . . because he paid her $150 and she didn’t have sex with him. Under Texas law, it’s legal to, quote, “use deadly force to recover property during a nighttime theft.” So when he shot the prostitute, apparently it fell under that law. He was facing life in prison if he’d been convicted.
–According to a study by a dating website, San Francisco is the most romantic city in America . . . because that’s where the site’s members have booked the most trips for the summer. New York is in second place, followed by Miami and Las Vegas.
–For the past few years, an unregistered sex offender in Oklahoma has been avoiding the cops thanks to a DISGUISE. Turns out the guy has been wearing a long black WIG and thick penciled-in EYEBROWS . . . but still has a mustache. On Wednesday, the cops finally found him and arrested him
–Last summer, a 29-year-old man in Wisconsin had a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old girl. After he threatened her, she went to the cops, and he was arrested for sex with a minor. And at his trial, the girl testified he had a tattoo on his stomach, of a finger pointing to his junk with the words, quote, “I’M WITH STUPID.” He got one year in jail.
–In Tennessee, there’s a 33-year-old man who has TWENTY-TWO KIDS with FOURTEEN different women. They just took him to court for child support. He says he’s not sure how he’d pay but his plan is, quote, “play the hell out of the Tennessee lottery.” And maybe land a job with the Memphis Grizzlies of the NBA..
–Earlier this week, a 22-year-old man in Florida went to his girlfriend’s to PROPOSE in the middle of the night. And for some reason, he decided to do it FULLY NAKED. Unfortunately he went to the wrong house . . . and the people there called the cops. The 22-year-old spat on one cop and was arrested.
–A school district in South Carolina said that prayer at high school graduations should be replaced with a moment of silence . . . so the valedictorian at one school ripped up his speech, talked about his religious upbringing, and recited the Lord’s Prayer instead
–A guy in the UK got his first metal detector . . . and in 20 minutes found $150,000 worth of ancient Roman coins.
Let’s kick off this weekend right . . . by giving you a bunch of stuff to worry about that you never even considered before.
1. In seven years, half of us will have cancer. According to a new study, by the year 2020 . . . which is only seven years away . . . HALF of all people will be diagnosed with cancer at some point in their lives. One third of people will survive it. (The Guardian)
2. Your bra is causing indigestion? By now, you’ve probably heard that most women wear bras that don’t fit them properly.
Well . . . by doing that, it turns out your bra can cause rashes, tendonitis, or even INDIGESTION from screwing up your posture. (Daily Mail)
3. A kid drowning doesn’t look like he’s drowning. When you think of a kid drowning, you think of yelling and flailing arms and panic. That’s NOT true. A new article has the REAL signs of someone drowning.
Turns out they can’t call for help because their respiratory system is struggling AND they can’t wave their arms. The big signs would be their head low in the water, tilted back, with their eyes closed, possibly hyperventilating. (Slate)
Foods we hate…(Africa says quit whining)
A new survey asked people to name their LEAST favorite food . . . and OYSTERS came in number one. 47% of people surveyed said they don’t like oysters.
So there are still billions of people in the world starving and praying for food every day, and you’re too good to eat something that’s expensive AND makes you horny? For SHAME.
Liver finished second on the list. Really? When’s the last time you even had the OPTION to eat liver? Apparently they surveyed stereotypical kids from 1987.
Other foods that made the list include anchovies, tofu, sushi, bleu cheese, olives, and licorice.
And 5% of people said there aren’t ANY foods they dislike
Or you could eat bugs….
We have some news that’s going to ruin your Friday: You probably ate bugs this morning . . . and you’ll almost definitely eat more today.
According to estimates by “Scientific American”, you eat up to two POUNDS of bugs and bug parts a year without knowing it. That’s because bugs get into everything you eat.
In the States, the FDA knows that it’s impossible to produce bug-free food, and they have guidelines of just how many bugs can be in different products.
For instance, in canned and frozen berries, there can be four insect larvae or 10 adults in every 500 grams . . . which is 1.1 pounds. And that doesn’t count LITTLE bugs like aphids or mites.
Ground cinnamon can have 400 bug parts and 11 rodent hairs in every 50 grams . . . which is about two ounces. And 50 grams of chocolate can have 30 bug parts.
Hops . . . which is used to make beer . . . can have 2,500 aphids in every 10 grams. That’s about five percent of its total weight.
You can now add DRAKE to the list of people AMANDA BYNES considers UGLY. Yesterday she Tweeted, quote, “Drake has the ugliest smile, ugly gums uneven teeth ugly eyes.” However it wasn’t long ago that Amanda was expressing her desire for Drake to, quote, “murder my vagina
Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson’s Google comedy “The Internship” is up against the Ethan Hawke thriller “The Purge” this week. That’s the movie where murder is legal for one night a year.
“The Purge” is out today. In “The Purge”, the U.S. government approves a day of lawlessness so Americans can blow off steam. I find it farfetched that the federal government would ever let people break the laws and target other U.S. citizens. You know, since that’s the job of the IRS.
Forbes.com has put together a list of the Worst Superhero Sequels of All Time. They put the 1989 cult classic “The Return of Swamp Thing” in the top spot. The rest of the list includes “Batman and Robin”, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3″ and the third and fourth CHRISTOPHER REEVE “Superman” movies.
The Netherlands recently launched a remake of “Golden Girls”. The show’s opening sequence has been making the rounds online . . . and that’s because it’s AWESOME. Like the original, the theme song is “Thank You for Being a Friend”.
Check out CINDY CRAWFORD’S very first modeling shot: It’s a bikini photo from when she was 16. (Daily Mail)
We haven’t taken a long, loving look at KATE UPTON’S cleavage in a while, so let’s do that. She seriously flirted with a wardrobe malfunction while bouncing up and down on the set of the movie “The Other Woman”. (Daily Mail)
As we all know, STEVEN SEAGAL is as big a deal in Russia as DENNIS RODMAN is in North Korea. And to prove it, Seagal did some traditional Chechen dancing during his most recent trip. (This is pretty awesome. Check it out here.)
The Netherlands recently launched a remake of “Golden Girls”. The show’s opening sequence has been making the rounds online . . . and that’s because it’s AWESOME.
The Dutch show is also called “Golden Girls”, and like the original, the theme song is “Thank You for Being a Friend” . . . but since it’s not in English, it’s unclear if the words are the same. (They probably are . . . not that it matters.)
(You can find the opening sequence on YouTube. And here’s a complete episode. If you’re a “Golden Girls” nut, it’s the Dutch spin on the episode where Blanche thinks she’s pregnant because she’s going through menopause.)
Check out what some of the sets from the original “Star Wars” in Tunisia look like today. (Full Story)
Google claims it can predict a movie’s box office success with 94% accuracy. (Full Story)
Water cooler one-liners..
Leonardo DiCaprio had sex with seven different women during the Cannes Film Festival. We await the announcement of his throat cancer.
Will Smith says he’s ready to stop doing blockbuster movies. Ready? I think he already started.
Nine Inch Nails has just released a new single. And if you’re excited about that news, you probably found out about it by checking your email on AOL while watching VHS tapes of “Melrose Place” in your Doc Martins.
Joan Rivers turns 80 tomorrow. This woman is amazing. She never stops working. And neither does her plastic surgeon.
Johnny Depp turns 50 on Sunday. He doesn’t know what he’s wearing to his birthday celebration, because Tim Burton hasn’t told him yet.
Donald Duck turns 79 on Sunday. Donald is known for his duck face, being hard to understand and not always wearing pants. Oh wait, I was thinking of Amanda Bynes.
The world’s oldest known cancerous tumor was found in the remains of a Neanderthal who lived more than 120,000 years ago. Scientists believe he was performing oral sex on an early ancestor of Catherine Zeta-Jones.
The Pope says that wasting food is like stealing from the poor. Which makes Oprah– Mother Teresa.
Win the Day! Ballsy